for i know not what i do -
it feels like lightning's running through my veins
every time i look at you.
.....................................
the past year of my life has made me acutely aware of the fact that every day that passes makes each of us more and more complex. we aren't kids anymore and the things that used to define us have taken a back seat to the the big things that change the way we look at ourselves and at others. as massive as they are to us, we don't wear them on our sleeves. in fact, we shove them in the deepest, darkest corners of our underwear drawers where we know no one else will ever think to look but at the same time where we know that we'll see them every day.
there's something so novel about meeting someone for the first time, and every once in a while i can't help but think about how it's our chance to be whoever we want to be to that person. they'll never know unless you tell them and in the end, who says you really do have to tell them?
sometimes the words just don't flow. not even that they don't flow, but that they straight up don't come. and the most excruciatingly frustrating thing about it is that it's not because a lack of thoughts - if anything it's because there are far to many thoughts that the bazillion words that make up the english language could never be sufficient to explain just how it is...
your biggest fear is that the person will actually know you, inside and out, backwards and forwards, up and down. they'll know you: the tilt of your head, the sound of your breathing, the cries of your heart. it's your biggest fear simply because you know that in the end all you want to do is lay it all out on the table and say, 'let's make this easier, take it or leave it'. and they'll leave it.
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6 comments:
i love you and your thoughts...but most of all when you open your heart up and show all that is there.
If you are a different person to each new acquaintance you make, do you run the risk of never really knowing yourself? The trouble with being a chameleon is that you never know just what colour they really are.
how will you know whether or not they will leave it if you never lay it all out on the table? is it scarier to know they left it or to not know at all?
i agree with both of you but in the end i think that it's about not giving into the very real temptation to be someone your not and not trying to keep a guise of perfection up.
to be real with someone takes trust and trust is something that's earned. for some it comes quickly and for others it takes time and neither is way is better than the other. i personally take quite a while to trust some people and i know it can be frustrating for them when they feel like i'm holding out on them.
it is only in silence that heartbeats are heard.
spending a day with someone without words can open more doors to knowing them than a thousand conversations.
silence constructs the picture...it strips the shell and exposes our hearts.
we shout our soul in silence. it brings us freedom to explore and to do so on a different plane.
could you be loved.
I think you’re right, and I think that fits in with what you were saying about our biggest fear. I don’t think we’re meant to put that much trust in a lot of people, and it takes time and energy to get to know someone to a point where they know the tilt of your head, the sound of your breathing, the cries of your heart. The scary question is whether or not they will continue to think and feel the same way about you as they did before they knew all that about you.
Also, does anyone know who he or she really truly is? We are constantly changing and growing, and the more we let others into our world, the more they are affecting it for better or worse. That’s easy to get lost in.
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